Travel Onward
As a child, I always believed I would be a traveler. I'm pretty sure my parents expected it as well, preparing themselves for the possibility of travelling to far-off countries to visit their youngest daughter. Despite my lofty ideas, things didn't go quite as planned. Immediately following high school, I set off to Ukraine for a year but that wa to be the last of my grand excursions.
Life has a funny way of working out. While my parents now have to travel a full day by plane to visit, I did not become the jet-setting adventurer I once dreamed about. Instead, somewhere along the way, I became a homebody, not by choice but by necessity. An ever-growing fear of flying has in many ways held me back from fulfilling certain hopes and dreams for my life. I find it difficult to even muster enough courage to travel home to see family. These visits have decreased to once every other year for Christmas.
Why am I sharing this with you today? On a photography site no less. Today I am travelling. I am flying home to help out my family as my father prepares to start radiation treatments. It is sad and a bit emarassing how difficult the decision was for me to go home. I love my family more than anything and I miss them constantly. Helping out in a crisis should be a no-brainer. However, this irrational fear of flying has become that big of an issue in my life. It took everything in me, plus a lot of encouragement from my husband to commit to buying a plane ticket.
It is a frustrating feeling being held back from the things you want to do. It is even more frustrating when you are the one holding yourself back. Today I am travelling and today I am celebrating. I am celebrating a decision to step onto a plane. I am celebrating a decision I made a few weeks ago to seek help in dealing with this fear. I am celebrating a small but purposeful and conscious decision to enjoy those things in life that make me happy, like photography and family. I realize it may seem an odd post to share but this is a beginning for me, in a similar way as this website is a beginning--a commitment to stop standing in my own way and start working toward a goal. No longer settling for what is safe and practical but constantly working toward something better.
